drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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