I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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