On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
