every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
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