Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize