u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
