I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
