i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Randomize
