How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize
