I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize