If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
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