WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
