Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
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