You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I intend to get homeless drunk
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
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