these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
