I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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