Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Randomize
