I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
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