if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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