I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
