Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
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