We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
