The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
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he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
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Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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