Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
