Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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