i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
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