plz talk dirty to me
im drinking this country out of the recession.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
Randomize
