you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Holy sore nipples Batman
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
