She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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