He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
