Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
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