pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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