Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
You're earring is so big in my mouth
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize
