Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
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