It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
