And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
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