Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
