I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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