how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
