HIV tests are more positive than that guy
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
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