I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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