Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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