Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize