I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
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