im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
