OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
My balls are so social today.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Randomize
