i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
