guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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