also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Randomize