Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
