That's when you crack a 10am beer
she pinky promised me she was 18
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I just gargled with NyQuil
Randomize
