hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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