Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Randomize
