get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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