We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Randomize
