pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Come back. Shots need mouths.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Randomize
