Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
