Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
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