So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Randomize
