this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Randomize
