You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.