i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
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