Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
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