Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Randomize
