Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize