I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
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