I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
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