My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
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