Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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