i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
