break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Randomize
