Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
