Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
